I’m completely horrified by the Gulf oil spill.  I’m sickened that we’ve done this to our planet.  The frightening news articles, accompanied by the heart-breaking pictures, have become a daily reminder of just how badly we have trashed our environment.  Last weeks headlines warned of  the terrifying possibility that toxic rains could conceivably poison the eastern half of our country.  What horrors will tomorrow’s news bring?  I hate to think that it’s going to get worse, but I’m afraid that it will.  The present and potential effects of this spill are mind-boggling.
I feel so freaking helpless, and, at times, kind of hopeless.  Carrying a sign is all good, and boycotting BP and all of its subsidiaries is a no-brainer (BTW, SAFEWAY is a subsidiary of BP!!), but it’s not enough.  I know that I have to reduce my carbon footprint.  Recycling more, using less water, less driving, more public transport.  And that brings me to the trip that I’ve been wanting to take.
Now, I’m still waiting on the geniuses at Disability to re-up my payments, so it’s not like I’m going anywhere anytime soon.  But I’ve been thinking a lot about this…..
I want to see every last one of you in the worst way.  It’s been way too long, life is short and uncertain, and I’ve been planning on and dreaming of this trip daily.  It has sorta kept me sane out here while I’ve been sitting in this RV these past six months.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m really glad I live in California now, I love it out here, and plan on living here for the rest of my life.  But first I want so badly to take this trip, to hug you and visit with you, to see your wonderful self and your sweet family.  I’m not getting any younger (yeah, yeah, you’re getting older too!) and I need to go while I can still make the trip!!
On the other hand……….
In the midst of this national crisis, it feels wrong to think about taking a cross-country trip.  Our dependence on fossil fuels has gotten us into this huge, epic disaster, and here I sit, planning a 6,000 mile gas-guzzling journey.  Even if the van gets great gas mileage, I’d still be using hundreds of gallons of gas.   I just don’t feel right about that.  There are alternative ways to travel, but not if I’m bringing my dogs, which I am.  I am not leaving my pups for months.  Can’t do it.  If I go, Calico and Preshus are going with me.
I’ve tried to justify this trip-of-a-lifetime in my head, told myself I’d go to the coast and help with the clean-up, do volunteer work on the road, blah, blah, blah.  I’ve kidded myself that a few hundred gallons won’t matter one way or the other.  What the hell, right?!  But it’s that kind of thinking has gotten us where we are today, watching helplessly, horrified.
I’m so confused, as usual.
So…..what do you think?